50 Shades of Grey, Take 2
There have been so many comments about the film 50 Shades of Grey along with the three books that have been written and read by many women, including Christian women, that this is my attempt to help you find answers, convictions, and ways that truly do enhance your sexual lives with your husband. And help single Christian women know that God is in the plans He has for you and they are good, if you are willing to wait for His best and no compromise God’s Word.
As Christian women we have listened to many comments, suggestions, and even heated discussions about our sexuality, the freedom we have or don’t have, confusion about what is permissible or not, and at the same time expressing that we have sexual desires and hormones that God has given us. What is the truth? Are there guidelines for Christian sex and the desire for satisfaction and fulfillment in our sexual lives? What are we free to do and with who?
It is my hope and prayer that all of this media attention, curiosity, hype, and criticism good or bad, will bring about discussion and opportunity to explore from the Word of God, and other resources of what IS the right way to live out our lives as Christian women. It certainly is something that needs more discussion. Women, we need to do some spiritual development and research in this area of our lives.
The world is doing a number on us and we are compromising and perhaps even in our minds on what the real truth is. Satan has certainly confused and put thoughts and pressure on women, even Christian women to act and be a way that the world says is normal but God says it will destroy us.
I agree with Neil Boron when he stated that as the internet brought pornography to men, this movie will bring pornography to women. It demoralizes the sacredness of intimacy between a man and a woman which God created to be within the context of marriage in the privacy of their own space and not viewed by others.
Some Christian women are degrading themselves, allowing themselves to be victims, and setting themselves up for weigh less than God’s design. For some strange reason, they think they are not worthy of anything more, or they think they can change a guy, maybe win a guy and lead them to Christ (Gospel dating is not Biblical). Sharing Christ certainly is Biblical but you should only date a believer if you are a believer–it’s too late if you fall in love with him. Women operate on fear that their chances of finding someone better won’t happen. So they settle. Believe me girls, it is worth the wait. I have proof of it. His name is Ralph. God gives the best for those who wait for the best.
Ruth in the Bible was a godly women walking by faith and guided by Naomi. God gave her a Godly man, Boaz. Women beware; you might be attracting a Bozo.
All of God’s people (those who know Him personally) are still called to be morally pure, and sexuality is a big piece of moral purity.
Moral purity means that sexual expression is reserved for the covenant of marriage between a husband and wife. God says “no” to certain violations and perversions of this. Here is a summary of what God prohibits sexually:
- Fornication: which means having sex outside of marriage (I Corinthians 7:2; I Thessalonians 4:3)
- Adultery: having sex with someone who is not your spouse. Jesus expanded adultery to mean not just physical acts, but emotional acts in the mind and heart (Matthew 5:28)
- Lustful Passions: First, let me tell you what this does NOT mean, Lustful passion does not refer to the powerful, God-given sexual desire for each other enjoyed by a married man and woman. Instead, it refers to an unrestrained, indiscriminate sexual desire for men or women other than the person’s marriage partner (Mark 7:21-22, Ephesians 4:19)
- Coarse Joking: In Ephesians 4:29, Paul says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.” We have all been around people who can see a sexual connotation is some innocent phrase, and then begin to snicker or laugh. This is wrong. However, this does not rule out sexual humor in the privacy of marriage, but rather inappropriate sexual comments in a public setting.
If you believe that God, the creator of your sexuality, has your best interest in mind, you will understand that these boundaries are to protect you.
I really want to give you some resources so you can check things out for yourself. Discover from these resources what your convictions are (which means you are convinced that you will live by those convictions based on the Word of God). This is especially important for moms who will be influencing your children, making Godly disciples. Our children are listening, seeing, and observing way more that we think these days.
Here are some resources. These are JUST a few. I am sure there are plenty more. If you have some resources you would like to share please email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Juli Slattery’s website www.authenticintimacy.com
Focus on the Family website: www.boundless.com (some really good things here)
Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? Julie Slattery co-authored this book.
Intimate Issues (conversations Woman to Woman) by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus
You are a Prize to be won! By Windy Griffith, Regal Publisher
A Lifelong Love by Gary Thomas (bestselling author of Sacred Marriage) David C. Book
The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating by Andy Stanley (If you want a marriage like no other,
then you need to date like no other)
Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall